Season 4

Episode 4

  Filler later, fighting now. Here we go with Son of Whyachi versus Swirlee. They make no mention of the fact that Son of Whyachi was forced into the super heavyweights under the new walker rules. They only call him the "defending champion." We'll just pretend Swirlee is a really big heavyweight.

In fact, no introductions from Mark Biero, either. The fight is on... now!

Swirlee starts to spin up and heads for Son of Whyachi. Son of Whyachi stays in its square to spin up. Son of Whyachi's body is spinning in the opposite direction of its hammers... Son of Whyachi is WAY off-balance! The force of the spinning hammers is sending the robot careening toward the back wall of the BattleBox! The hammers are going at full power, and there's no way to control them with the robot body! Son of Whyachi tears one of the casings clear off a screw! The robot goes completely vertical, the screw casing gets itself caught underneath the robot, and stops the spinning, causing Son of Whyachi to land back on the floor with two large bounces! That's the most frightening thing I've ever seen a robot do!

And now Son of Whyachi is dead. Swirlee arrives on the scene to deliver a blow to Son of Whyachi's body. Quote from the red driver's platform: "I guess that didn't work for [censored]."

Swirlee powers down and pushes Son of Whyachi under the sledgehammer, since it's practically where Son of Whyachi crash-landed, anyway. Pete puts a few extra dents in Son of Whyachi's body.

A tap-out, the buzzer, and some very relieved looks on the faces of Swirlee's team. Roll that opening sequence!

Tonight's episode is once again sponsored by Taco Bell and 3D's chips. 3D's -- a magnified representation of the saturated fat globules that collect in your arteries when you eat either sponsor.

Team Whyachi explains that they had to raise the hammers to fight Swirlee, which knocked the bot off-balance. I'll say. Bil throws an Icarus reference out on the table for y'all.

Then it's time for Carmen's little useless hype segment. In the twenty seconds between the Whyachi interview and this part of the show, she's somehow managed to put on an entirely different outfit and run across the floor to sit in the audience. Disobeying the laws of time and space! She's a witch, I declare!

Am I not getting something, or do Carmen's lines make absolutely no sense? "You'd think the early exit of a great bot like Son of Whyachi might dampen the crowd's enthusiasm just a bit. But I'd say it's only whet their appetite for more. God, you people are sick! That's just what I love about you. You wanna give me a fix?" That's exactly what she said. Huh?

Forget it, let's just watch a heavyweight fight. Towering Inferno versus MechaVore. Towering Inferno consists mainly of two large wheels. Coming out from the side of each wheel is a hammer, Diesector-style. MechaVore is the same as last season.

The last fight was an upset, will this go the same way? Time to fight.

Towering Inferno rolls over toward MechaVore, which is busy getting its spinning disk up to speed. MechaVore leaves its square, and Towering Inferno tries to hit it with the hammers. MechaVore gives Towering Inferno a hit with the disk and spins Towering Inferno around, ripping off one of the hammers in the process. Another hit to the hammer arm creates some sparks.

MechaVore hits Towering Inferno again and leaves to get the disk up to full speed once more. Towering Inferno swings what is now simply a stick on its one side.

MechaVore drives forward, and Towering Inferno delivers a hit with the stick on top of MechaVore's blade, which simply grinds the edge of the stick. MechaVore hits one of Towering Inferno's wheels with the disk, sending Towering Inferno into the wall and ripping off one of the three sections that comprises a wheel. Okay, I think we can officially say things don't look good for Towering Inferno.

Towering Inferno gets back on both wheels and spins in place. This causes the hammer to whack the broken piece in MechaVore's general direction. MechaVore turns to attack the broken piece, shattering it further and sending it back in Towering Inferno's direction. It's a friendly game of robotic catch!

Now MechaVore heads over to Towering Inferno to inflict more damage. MechaVore hits the hammer, though the hammer doesn't break. The blow turns MechaVore toward a screw, causing the spinning disk to put a nice-sized dent in the screw itself. Yeah! All the bots are beating up on the screws! Down with the man!

That hit to the screw causes MechaVore's disk to cease operation, though. MechaVore retreats to spin it up again, but it looks like the disk won't respond. Hey, you defeated your opponent and beat up on a screw, MechaVore. I'd say that's a good day's work.

MechaVore pushes Towering Inferno a tiny bit, but Towering Inferno has quit moving. So MechaVore dances the victory dance. This fight is over. Says Jason Bardis, "That's what I get for making a show bot."

The MechaVore team gives a piece that they tore off of Towering Inferno to Carmen. Bil wishes that someone would make him jewelry out of robot parts. Dang, that was actually humorous.

Lightweights for the rest of this half hour. Commercials now.

Carmen introduces the next segment by stating that they went to the pits and the builders told her which robot they'd most like to destroy. Right, they specifically told you, Carmen. That's why you're not in the shot.

After a little smack talk by the builders, it's a profile segment on Slap 'Em Silly and its family. The whole thing is presented as an old information filmstrip about the wonders of "the online." My goodness, this is the most clever segment they've ever done. It's actually funny. Did they suddenly get some new writers? This is good.

Afterthought will be fighting Slap 'Em Silly here. Afterthought has a weapon of a diagonal spinning disk. According to Tim, it knocked out Crusher in its previous fight. Wow, I thought Crusher was more resilient than that.

Here come da fight. Slap 'Em Silly approaches Afterthought while Afterthought gets its disk up to speed. Slap 'Em Silly just drives straight into Afterthought's disk, and it doesn't seem to do anything to Slap 'Em Silly. It pushes Afterthought a bit, and Afterthought runs into the screw behind its square. Slap 'Em Silly likes this idea, and pushes Afterthought into the screw a few more times.

Afterthought escapes by driving over the top of Slap 'Em Silly. It spins up again, and Slap 'Em Silly is still unfazed by the disk. They dance around a bit. Afterthought nearly flies off the ground from the force of its spinning disk.

Slap 'Em Silly gets behind Afterthought and starts pushing it toward the screw behind the blue square. Afterthought tries to escape by driving straight forward... into the screw.

Afterthought runs off. It's a pushing match in the center of the box now, with both bots at about equal pushing power. Afterthought backs down and drives over the saws. Slap 'Em Silly tries to impale Afterthought's side, but drives up it instead (it's a steeply sloped side, too).

A little driving, and Slap 'Em Silly pushes Afterthought over some saws. The saws come up and rip the rear armor off of Afterthought. They also put a good cut in one of the side panels. Afterthought drives backward directly underneath a sledgehammer, which rips half of that side panel off of Afterthought.

Afterthought drives at Slap 'Em Silly, which holds it over another set of saws. The saws come up and rip the other piece of side armor clear off of Afterthought. Okay, now this is getting embarrassing.

Slap 'Em Silly pushes, and Afterthought's body goes over the saws (with nothing else torn off). Afterthought pauses to get its disk spinning again. Slap 'Em Silly rams it in the side.

Slap 'Em Silly pushes Afterthought toward the saws again, which pop up and rip most of the rest of Afterthought's side armor off. This is the robot that beat Crusher?

That spinning disk is doing little. Slap 'Em Silly gets underneath it and pushes Afterthought a little more, though Afterthought falls off before the two reach a hazard. Slap 'Em Silly is all over Afterthought, which is backed under the sledgehammer again. A couple of good hits to Afterthought's body.

Afterthought escapes to the center. Slap 'Em Silly pushes Afterthought from behind. It looks like Afterthought was trying a quick turn there, because the forces from the spinning disk lift Afterthought into the air again and flip it. Now Afterthought is resting upside-down on its disk. The body spins on top of it.

Slap 'Em Silly pushes Afterthought toward another sledgehammer. Now, we all saw what happened with Malvolio in this situation. I hope that's what Andy Sauro wants...

At the moment, Afterthought is not under the pulverizer. Slap 'Em Silly is doing its darnedest to put Afterthought there, though.

Yep, there it is. Slap 'Em Silly pushes Afterthought under the arm of the sledgehammer, which drops down and flips Afterthought back on its wheels. Well, barring a sudden power failure, Slap 'Em Silly has this fight all wrapped up anyway.

Afterthought has its disk spinning again. Slap 'Em Silly pushes Afterthought a bit, then shoves Afterthought from behind into the spike strip. A spike goes through one of the holes in Afterthought's disk, and the wheels of the robot are lifted off the ground. Slap 'Em Silly hits Afterthought again, freeing the robot. But Afterthought isn't moving, and time is up.

They go to the post-fight interviews without telling us who won. I guess we're to assume it was Slap 'Em Silly.

Brad talks to Andy about the parallels between driving a robot and eventually getting a driver's license. If you'll remember, this is the exact same thing Carmen Electra talked to him about last week.

Again they tell us that Slap 'Em Silly was purchased from eBay. This leads into a segment where Bil shows us the robot he (meaning Comedy Central) bought on eBay. It's a wedge with big wheels and an inconveniently-placed ball in the wedge. Bil invites everyone to go to Comedy Central's web site and submit their names for the robot. I'd suggest "Competitive Radio Activated Pusher."

They go to commercial. Fine, I'll go look up the score. According to robotcombat.com, it was a devastating 45-0 win for Slap 'Em Silly. Ouch.

Carmen introduces a series of clips of builders fixing robots, looking at parts, and setting injuries.

Two similar robots in this next lightweight fight. Carnage Raptor is more or less the same as last season (save for a new paint job). Whirligig is now a simple tube with flails extending from the center of each tire. Two thwackbots, different designs. One will win. I guess that's a given, though.

The fight begins. Both bots are hesitant in approaching the other. Carnage Raptor pokes Whirligig with the axe head. Whirligig goes into a spin and hits Carnage Raptor a couple of times as Carnage Raptor escapes.

Whirligig stops spinning and Carnage Raptor begins spinning. Carnage Raptor delivers a strong blow to Whirligig. The computer-generated logo on the wall of the box is smaller now. Still annoying, just smaller so you can always see the whole thing.

A little driving. Whirligig drives over its own flail. After getting itself straightened out, Whirligig goes into a spin, barely missing Carnage Raptor. Carnage Raptor decides to go into a spin of its own. Though neither robot is making a connection, the canned audience goes wild.

Whirligig tries to readjust, and Carnage Raptor hits a flail with the axe. The two robots try to meet in a pushing match. Carnage Raptor has its axe handle underneath Whirligig's body, and pushes Whirligig toward some saws. Whirligig is pushed off by the saws popping up, but the debris being shot out is caused by Carnage Raptor's axe handle being pressed against the blades.

Whirligig slams itself into Carnage Raptor while Carnage Raptor tries to get away from the saws without being hit again. Whirligig then drives itself over some saws.

Some driving. Carnage Raptor gets a not-full-power hit on Whirligig. Whirligig spins up and starts to tap away at Carnage Raptor. Carnage Raptor backs away. Whirligig then drives itself over the saws.

Whirligig moves over to its square and Carnage Raptor pursues. Carnage Raptor gets the axe handle under Whirligig again and pushes it onto the entrance ramp. Whirligig escapes by driving over the spike wall and into the sledgehammer area. The sledgehammer drops, and lands directly on Whirligig's body.

A few narrow misses with additional sledgehammer drops, and Whirligig escapes. Carnage Raptor tries to hold Whirligig over the saws, but Whirligig isn't far enough over to be damaged by them. So Carnage Raptor drives Whirligig into the wall.

Whirligig tries to escape, but Carnage Raptor gets underneath again and pushes Whirligig back under the sledgehammer. The hammer lands on Whirligig's body, and Whirligig stops moving. Carnage Raptor backs off, and Whirligig starts to get worked over by the sledgehammer. It repeatedly lands on Whirligig's tire.

Whirligig taps out. A tap-out is given by a competitor when they wish to declare defeat and want to quit having damage done to their bot. Therefore, when a driver taps out, the opponent must stop attacking and the arena hazards will stop activating. This would be all fine and dandy for Whirligig, except that the sledgehammer is still pounding away. The ref blows his whistle and shouts "Tap-out, tap-out, tap-out" into his microphone, but the hammer keeps going.

And why is the hammer still going? Because Peter Lambertson is too busy looking at the audience and making a show out of pressing the hammer button to notice anything that's going on. The ref is shouting at him, but he keeps wailing on Whirligig. Jeremy Franklin looks concerned. Jim Smentowski just shakes his head and smiles.

Finally Pete gets the message to quit attacking. Too bad Whirligig now has a flat tire. The buzzer sounds, and Carnage Raptor is the winner.

As we go to commercial, we see those mysterious cheerleaders again. I guess Carmen was too busy talking to builders in the pits.

An interview with Jeremy Franklin, who explains the tap-out situation. Then they realize they have some extra time to fill, so Bil slowly recaps the fights of this half hour.

Speaking of recaps, this time during the "BattleBots Update," they also give the results of two of last week's fights. A few more sound bites from interviews, same as always.

Let's crank up the next half hour. After the in-show plugs, Tim says, "Thousands of people and their bots from all over the world have descended on San Francisco with one thing on their minds... nuts." Sounds like he forgot his next line.

Hey, Carmen's segment from the audience is only short enough to tell us that the next fight will be between super heavyweights. So let's see it happen.

Atomic Wedgie has gotten rid of the radioactive blades and instead stuck a big, Minion-style bludgeoning wheel on its back. Ogre now has wider spikes in the front, and can move them so they lift other robots.

During the introductions, Atomic Wedgie has the Atomic Wedgie Battle Basher sitting in front of it. Ogre also has an Atomic Wedgie Battle Basher... resting on one of its spikes.

And they're off! Atomic Wedgie leads with the wedge and it and Ogre collide in the center of the box. Atomic Wedgie turns around and scratches the side of Ogre with the wheel. Ogre tries to get under Atomic Wedgie with the spikes, but every time it tries, the spikes don't slide under, instead bending downward on the hinge and raising Ogre's front wheels into the air.

A couple more hits by Atomic Wedgie's wheel deflect off the piece of metal protecting Ogre's tires. Ogre is still trying to get under Atomic Wedgie.

Atomic Wedgie parks near a side of the box and leaves its wheel pointed at Ogre. Ogre charges full force anyway, taking the hit from the wheel but failing to get under Atomic Wedgie.

They're still putting Final Fantasy X ads up on the side of the box, but now it's too small to be able to identify what the ad is for. Ogre rides up the wedge of Atomic Wedgie, then backs off.

Atomic Wedgie is having trouble steering. It manages to bring the wheel in contact with the floor, sending up sparks. Ogre attacks from the side, pushing but not lifting.

A close-up of Atomic Wedgie reveals that on the right-hand side of the robot, the tread on the top is working perfectly well, but the tread that's actually on the floor isn't moving. With only one tread working, Atomic Wedge drives into the wall. Ogre comes from the side and rams Atomic Wedgie.

Atomic Wedgie is clearly not getting any response from that lower right tread. Ogre continues to slam Atomic Wedgie, seemingly unconcerned about being hit with Atomic Wedgie's wheel.

Ogre is gradually pushing Atmoic Wedgie closer and closer to a sledgehammer. When this fight took place, they hadn't yet replaced the side of the screw that Son of Whyachi destroyed. This is funny because it was present for the previous two fights.

While producing sparks by being in contact with Atomic Wedgie's wheel, Ogre finally pushes Atomic Wedgie under the hammer. One hit, and Atomic Wedgie uses its good tread to turn out of the path of Pete.

Ogre tries to take a run at Atomic Wedgie, but only takes its own hit from the hammer. Ogre comes in from a different direction and pushes Atomic Wedgie into the screw. Atomic Wedgie's wheel goes up against the intact side of the screw, and puts a dent in the cover. Man, I love watching robots harm the screws.

Ogre gets the side of Atomic Wedgie back under the hammer. A couple of hits, and Atomic Wedgie turns away again... and attacks the screw itself. I'm cheering both robots on at this point.

Ogre tries to push Atomic Wedgie, but takes another hit from the hammer. Atomic Wedgie puts another dent in the screw cover. That screw has taken more damage than many of the robots in this series.

Atomic Wedgie continues to turn in circles. Another glance to the screw. Technically, I think Atomic Wedgie should've been counted out by now, as under the new rules, if only one side of the robot is functional, it counts as a knockout. But so long as Atomic Wedgie keeps wailing away on that screw, I say keep the fight going!

Ogre tries to get under Atomic Wedgie's side again, but the spikes just can't do it. It looks like one of the front spikes is bent. Ogre places its spikes right up against the wheel of Atomic Wedgie and pushes. The end result is getting Atomic Wedgie's wheel to stop spinning and forcing Atomic Wedgie under the hammer again. The handle of the hammer pounds on Atomic Wedgie. Then Atomic Wedgie escapes and the hammer hits Ogre. Then Ogre leaves and Atomic Wedgie turns under the hammer again to receive more blows.

Time's up. Ogre wins, 37-8.

Commercials, then a segment where some builders explain why they chose the weight class they did. Reasons range from transportability to preference for large robots to the number of pit passes received.

This is your life, Brian Nave. We see some high school pictures, and friends reminisce about high school days. I notice they're careful with what they say about the man with the 200-pound spinning robot.

Brian's Phrizbee will face HexaDecimator (or "HexyDecimator," as Mark Beiro calls it). We've already met Phrizbee. HexaDecimator has redesigned its front a bit, opting for a single, wider flipping bar and a more pointed front end.

Another bent-down light, and it's robot fightin' time.

Phrizbee spins up to speed. HexaDecimator goes around and points its front end at Phrizbee to get a quick victory. But as soon as that front end touches Phrizbee, HexaDecimator goes spinning away. The arm fires about a second too late.

HexaDecimator has a camera inside of it. Bil goes insane. HexaDecimator gets under Phrizbee while Phrizbee damages HexaDecimator's body, but the spinner escapes before HexaDecimator can flip it. Phrizbee relentlessly attacks HexaDecimator's side.

Phrizbee drives over some saws, which pop up and send it bouncing into the front of HexaDecimator. Phrizbee bounces off before HexaDecimator can flip it.

Two solid hits by Phrizbee. The camera inside HexaDecimator starts to drop frames.

Another hit from Phrizbee. Phrizbee then goes up HexaDecimator's ramp and does some more damage. HexaDecimator doesn't even fire the weapon.

Phrizbee spins down and retreats to the center of the box. HexaDecimator gets hit by some saws.

Phrizbee sits next to the saws for a few moments, still not spinning. HexaDecimator moves to the center of the box. Phrizbee spins up again and attacks HexaDecimator.

Phrizbee taps away at HexaDecimator's sides, then lands another good blow to the front. Phrizbee aims for the front again, connects, and tears off one of the pieces of metal making up the corner of the wedge.

Phrizbee hits HexaDecimator's side again. HexaDecimator wedges under Phrizbee and stops the spinning, but Phrizbee bounces off before the flipping arm goes up.

Still spun down, Phrizbee is driving awfully near HexaDecimator. HexaDecimator turns around, gets the flipping arm underneath Phrizbee, raises it, and up and over Phrizbee goes. That's all HexaDecimator needs to win.

Phrizbee's body begins to spin inside its shell. HexaDecimator raises the arm in victory and does the dance. This fight is over.

Here's a good, open-ended interview question, courtesy of Carmen Electra: "Somehow you ended up getting flipped. What happened?"

It's time for part two of How to Build a Bot with Christian Carlberg. He connects some wires and makes a servo turn with a radio. We also get to see a clip of him flipping a switch on Minion while it's in the box. Criminy, how much footage do they shoot for this show?

Commercials. I can't take the "Heroes of Black Comedy" special seriously when the title is done in the "Price is Right" font.

A short segment where some builders in the pits show off their favorite tools. Fun behind-the-scenes fact: In the last clip, the blow from the hammer against the wood actually caused Lowell Nelson's toe to be seriously injured. You can see him hop in pain right after the hammer lands. And for further behind-the-scenes fun, rewind this episode back to the "fixing your robot between fights" set of clips. The duct tape being applied to Lowell's foot comes as a result of that toe injury.

This hour has had several bright spots. Sadly, this next segment is not one of them. Arj Barker goes to a laboratory to talk to a woman who designs dolls to watch and mimic human behavior. Suffice it to say that communication doesn't go very well.

(One nice thing about these non-fighting segments is that I summarize them in a paragraph or so, as opposed to the pages upon pages of robotic combat descriptions. They help me get through these essays faster.)

Here's an actual fight. Heavyweights Omega-13 versus The Matador. Omega-13 looks the same as last time, except they painted black all over the beautiful titanium. Man. The Matador is the newest creation from Inertia Labs. It pretty much looks like a smaller Toro. This thing is the most proportionately powerful of all the Inertia Labs bots. Oh baby, I can't wait to see it in action.

Let's get it on! Omega-13 is the squirrellier of the two robots. The Matador has an extra piece of metal attached to the end of the flipping arm, as the arm doesn't scrape the ground, while Omega-13 nearly does. As Omega-13 bounces around the box, The Matador tries to get in position. On its first attempt at flipping, Omega-13 gets away. The Matador goes nearly vertical from the power of its own flipping arm. And lots of CO2 comes out. Whoo.

Bil keeps calling The Matador "El Matador." Why? I don't see him calling any robots "T-Menos."

Omega-13 keeps running away from The Matador, while The Matador has trouble going where it wants to. The Matador goes over a couple sets of saws. The thing here is, while The Matador isn't flipping Omega-13, Omega-13 really isn't showing much in the way of offense, either.

Oh wait, there it goes. Omega-13 gets underneath The Matador and drives it into the wall.

More positioning. Omega-13 seems to be doing a lot of spinning in place.

A slam by Omega-13. While the two bots continue to position, let's remember that last season, T-Minus lost to T-Wrex. Same builders, similarly-designed robots. This is a grudge match for Inertia Labs.

The Matador drives its big body into and onto the spikes. It almost gets hit by a hammer, except the hammer didn't drop.

The Matador gets under Omega-13. And it flips! Omega-13 does a full 360° in the air and lands right side up. Not that it matters either way, since Omega-13 is invertible.

Omega-13 escapes, then returns to the center of the box. It spins and hits The Matador, producing a lone spark.

A little more driving. The Matador gets under Omega-13 again and pulls the trigger. Omega-13 gets a little air, but isn't flipped. It is, however, sent into the corner, where it takes a hit from the hammer. Omega-13 escapes the hammer... right into the flipping arm of The Matador. The Matador activates the arm again... and Omega-13 goes flying! A whopping 720° somersault (two complete revolutions) by Omega-13, thanks to The Matador!

The Matador pushes Omega-13 up against a screw base. Another beautiful throw! The cameraman should know better than to try to get a close-up when a robot is on the lifting arm of The Matador. Omega-13 goes out of the frame, bounces off the Lexan, and lands, still right side up. Omega-13 pushes The Matador into the screw.

Both robots tap the saws, producing a few sparks. The Matador holds Omega-13 over some saws. The Matador can't get a flip in, but the saws do hit Omega-13. Yeah, the sparks aren't as beautiful now.

Omega-13 goes back into scurry mode. It drives over some more saws.

Omega-13 drives around some more. It stops for a moment, and The Matador takes the opportunity to give it another full flip.

Omega-13 looks like it's lost control of one of its sides. Time runs out.

The Matador is the winner, 25-20. Now Regan Designs is going to be the one to hold a grudge.

Commercials. Even after the break, they're still calling it "El Matador." No comprendo.

We haven't seen Voltronic yet, so they've got the next best thing -- Stephen Felk in the studio. Hey, they're actually in chairs. The talk is of the deadliness of horizontal spinners. It's so "easy" to get under a horizontal spinner with Voltronic. That may or may not be foreshadowing, I'm not sure.

They say good-bye with Stephen Felk still in the studio. What's sad is that I was watching for his reflection in the picture behind Bil to confirm this.

Okay everyone, break out your tapes of the credits sequence, because for a lack of inspiration, I'm just going to riff on each image presented there.

First shot is of Carmen Electra shaking a fist at the camera. We're to assume that it's from a clip where she's acting tough in relation to the robot battles, but in reality this is a clip from when she found out someone had shot her "bad side."

Then it's a clip of Bil in the studio. He pops up from below the frame, laughs, and Tim elbows him in the face. This is real.

Then it's a clip of Tim laughing really big. That's what happens when you poke him in the tummy.

Then it's a shot of San Francisco from a helicopter. Despite the dark sky and orange tint to everything, it's actually 3:00 in the afternoon.

Then it's a clip of Carmen turning around and facing the camera. If you watch the short clip carefully, though, you can tell by her hair movement that this clip was reversed. Now it makes sense -- this was from when they tried to get her to pronounce "HexaDecimator," and she threw a fit.

Then it's a close-up of a sign that says "Danger Robotic Area." This is where Carmen lives.

Then Carmen is in the pits, wiggling her hips seductively. She didn't realize the camera was on -- she was just practicing for her audition for a new series about three female detectives who solve crimes at a health spa.

Then it's a clip of Bil talking. He's saying, "Despite the clear, thought-provoking undertones of scathing social commentary, I find the works of Jonathan Swift to often be acceptable for simply a few mindless laughs."

Then a shot of Tim. He concurs.

Then a shot of Carmen shunning the camera. See fit, above.

Then a shot of Bil pumping his fists in his seat while Tim points. They're dancing to a funky beat being played in the studio.

Then another shot of the San Francisco skyline. The reason it's so orange is because the city is on fire.

Then a shot of Carmen yawning. There's an American flag in the background. She's a commie!

Then a shot of a young boy walking through the pits next to a person in a chicken costume. A person in an ape costume follows. This was done to convince the builders that they need to get more sleep at these events.

Then a shot of Carmen interviewing Ellie Watts. Carmen acts surprised. Ellie just explained that Little Sister is powered by a pneumatic lifting arm and that "no, the flowers don't give it any special power."

Then a shot of Bil speaking while pointing to his forehead. He's describing how by touching it, he can conjure demons.

Then a shot of Andy Miller clapping for Carmen in a patronizing manner. That clip is funny on its own (good job, Andy).

Then a clip of the person in the gorilla suit being interviewed. This is what I see in my dreams.

Then a shot of Bil speaking in a sarcastic manner. He's making fun of the people who mock his facial hair. His exact words are "doo-doo heads."

Then a shot of Tim laughing again. He's actually having a stroke.

Then an overhead shot of the BattleBots logo draped across the hangar from last season's competition. This is to confuse the commies with the bombs.

Finally, a shot of Carmen covering the camera with her hand. She actually believed the crew when they said that by wishing Ziggo luck right before it KO'ed an opponent, she was now an accessory to the murder of SnowFlake. They threw in the fact that she was now part of an elaborate plot that also contained a character named "Serial Box Killer," and she just panicked. She then ran off the set and tried to escape by swimming through the bay. She can't swim, but it's okay. She floats.


Back to index