I'm back! More importantly, new episodes of "BattleBots" are back!
The season kicks off with Bil (who actually showed up during the tapings of the battles) running around the dark streets of San Francisco, pretending to round up people to be in the audience for the show. Aren't shenanigans like this what you expect from a show called "BattleBots?"
Tim Green is still around, and teases some of tonight's fights. We'll look at those in detail later. I only recognize three of the eight robots named. Many more new robots to confuse me. I'm still trying to sort out all of last season's competitors (which one was Vladiator?).
The opening sequence hasn't changed. Since the season's just starting, all of the action clips shown in the little screens are from last season. And yes, they showed Nightmare hitting Slam Job. As always, the theme song sounds almost the same, but has been tweaked just a little. Wouldn't want you to get too used to things.
New sponsors! Taco Bell and Squaresoft's Final Fantasy X this time. Final Fantasy X has characters that closely resemble human beings. Taco Bell has fillings that closely resemble meat.
Bil and Tim are at the desk (same set as last year). But instead of talking about robots, Tim decides to introduce the newest member of the "BattleBots" team. In accordance with never having the same eye candy for more than one season, this time Comedy Central decided to spend some money that could be better used to crank out another episode and hire Carmen Electra for floor babe. We get a short montage of clips of her posing and interviewing builders (not always at the same time).
Carmen's in the audience, and assures us that she is excited about the matches about to take place. To help demonstrate that she is not alone in these feelings, she prompts the audience sitting around her to cheer. The ones that are within fifteen feet of the camera do so. All of the people in the back remain motionless.
Ah yes, fights, that's why we're all here. First fight of the season is between heavyweights Deathstar and Phrizbee. Phrizbee is your standard spinner. Deathstar is more difficult to describe. Its body is a box. On each corner of the box there is an extension, kind of a small cylinder thing. At the bottom of each cylinder thing there is a saw blade, almost touching the floor. Each of the cylinder things is attached to the others by springs. So when Deathstar moves, the saws spin and kind of wobble around.
Phrizbee's introduction: "You're more likely to understand the ramblings of Anne Heche on a Bakersfield highway than to comprehend the pure evil of Phrizbee!" Thank you, Dennis Miller.
If you watched the reruns of last season, remember how they put those big ads up on the side of the BattleBox? Well, they're back. Final Fantasy X! Buy it! Right now! Even if you don't have a PlayStation 2!
Time for the fightin' to begin. Deathstar meets Phrizbee. A couple of whacks, and Phrizbee stops spinning. Phrizbee tries to get away, but Deathstar gets it up against one of the screws (yes, sadly, the screws are back). It rams Phrizbee a couple of times, then Phrizbee zips away.
Phrizbee starts to spin itself up again. Deathstar is pushed by the killsaws, then drives into Phrizbee. Once again, Phrizbee's motion is stopped, but now one of Deathstar's springs has been cut apart. A little bit of smoke starts to come out of Deathstar.
While Phrizbee spins itself back up, Deathstar drives itself under the hammer. More smoke starts to come out. Phrizbee, now up to full speed, comes over and gives Deathstar two good blows to its bad arm, and snaps another spring. Smoke starts to pour out of Deathstar.
Phrizbee continues to hit Deathstar, tearing a spring clear off the robot and pushing it into the wall. Deathstar is still mobile, though its weapons are useless. Deathstar drives toward the other side of the box while Phrizbee stays in one place and spins.
Deathstar tries to head toward Phrizbee again, though it turns itself toward a wall in the middle of its charge. Phrizbee comes over and hits Deathstar a few times. Each hit slows Phrizbee down, and soon, Phrizbee is no longer spinning and is between two of Deathstar's arms.
Deathstar could try to push Phrizbee here, since it's something of a clamping situation. But Phrizbee is the one to do all the pushing, trying to aim Deathstar toward another hammer. It succeeds, and Deathstar absorbs a few good blows.
But Deathstar is still mobile. Slow, but mobile. Phrizbee pushes it under the hammer again. One of the arms of Deathstar is dangling.
Time is up. You've got to give Deathstar credit for not being knocked out after that.
They no longer have replays on this show. They now have Taco Bell Replays. So now I can associate Taco Bell with the reduction of screen size when they show the most pivotal hits. Good to know.
We don't get to see the arm-raising, but Tim tells us that Phrizbee won, 37-8. Now brace yourselves, because here comes Carmen Electra as an interviewer.
Every time Carmen asks a question, we see a close-up of her. Though she probably was fed those questions, they're reasonable questions such as, "Are you nervous about your next fight." At the end, she gives a half-hearted "Yeah, baby." Well, at least that was short.
Before going to commercial, we get a quick cast list. Apparently there are two other people on this show that we haven't seen yet. They're male and weren't once married to Dennis Rodman, so that's why.
Back from the commercial, and now it's time for Carmen to stand inside the BattleBox and explain how the judges' scoring system works.
The audience is in the back, and they couldn't care less. Carmen stands in the center of the box and reads to us what categories there are. As she reads, the camera revolves around her, and she is required to both read and face the camera at all times. Hey, no one said her job was easy. In fact, this is such a difficult task that everything she says comes across as sounding wrongly emphasized. I'm sure she would've done well, if only that nasty stage direction stuff didn't get in the way!
Hey, a fight between robots, now there's a good idea. It's the middleweights, and it's Ravager versus T-Minus. We all know T-Minus from last season. Ravager strongly resembles a middleweight version of The Judge. The only difference is that its body is made out of the same type of metal Punjar is made from, and it has a wedge in the back. I assume Ravager is usually a hammerbot, but for this fight, it's taken a page from the book of Deadblow and turned the hammer into a lifting arm.
When T-Minus is introduced, it has red wheels. When the fight begins, its wheels are black again. Nope, no continuity flaws there.
Both robots head right toward each other. Ravager is the first to try to flip T-Minus, but fails. T-Minus tries to flip Ravager, but it just manages to catch Ravager's arm. Ravager sits on top of the saw holes, and sure enough, the saws push Ravager off. T-Minus attempts another flip, but only succeeds in falling on its back.
But that's okay, because this is one of the reasons people love T-Minus. The fiesty robot pulls off one of its beautiful 540° flips to land right side up. Let's see your so-called "gymnasts" do that.
More attempts by both robots at flipping the other, and more failures. Ravager eventually succeeds in turning T-Minus onto its back. We all know what's coming. As Ravager charges, T-Minus flips itself over the robot and once again lands right side up.
T-Minus is having trouble getting that lifting arm under Ravager, thanks to Ravager's low skirts. Ravager's only weak spot seems to be the front, and when the arm is down, T-Minus can't get under that side.
No, I'm wrong. Because Ravager swings its arm down (it hasn't hit T-Minus in any of the downswings), T-Minus works its way under a corner of Ravager, and up into the air Ravager goes. It lands first on its arm, then on its back.
Well, it looks like Ravager can't self-right with that arm. It can lift its body off the floor at a 45° angle, but that's about it. T-Minus just sits and watches in case Ravager decides to become more nimble.
We see the back of Peter Lambertson's head as Ravager flops around. There's the countdown, and there's the buzzer.
Bil makes a lame joke about getting under skirts. And then... they're going directly into another fight? Awesome!
Heads up folks, because they're right into the introductions. Time for the super heavyweights. Fantom Thrust is a treaded robot with a pneumatic spike. Kind of like DooAll, except without being able to lift the spike. The Probe is a box with a lifting bar around the front. The lifting bar has three spikes sticking out so it can grab opponents.
Robot fightin' time. Industrial robotic combat music meets 60's cop show music.
The Probe tries to get a lift in on Fantom Thrust, but Fantom Thrust slips away. The Probe then has trouble getting its lifting bar to touch the floor without going too far and lifting the front of the robot into the air. While The Probe is fiddling with that, Fantom Thrust rams into its side and pushes. No use of the pneumatic spike yet.
Fantom Thrust pushes The Probe around in a circle. The Probe is pushed around the killsaw holes, while Fantom Thrust goes over them. The saws pop up, and rip one of Fantom Thrust's treads apart. Whoops.
That tread is gone. Fantom Thrust will be making nothing but left turns for the rest of the fight. The Probe heads back, lines itself up, and gets itself under Fantom Thrust. The lifting bar goes up, and Fantom Thrust is now off the ground.
The Probe tries to drive Fantom Thrust over to a hammer, but has a little trouble steering. Its thirty seconds are nearly up, so it needs to let go of Fantom Thrust. However, Fantom Thrust is impaled on that spike quite nicely. Looks like they'll have to separate the two.
Or not. When The Probe puts Fantom Thrust back down, it rips the front wedge bar off of the bot. So a part of Fantom Thrust is still stuck to The Probe, just not the whole robot.
Looks like Fantom Thrust has tapped out. Nothing happens while they go from ten to zero. The Probe is the winner.
Okay, now it's time for the commercial. And here's our first look at one of the other new interviewers (there are others?). Arj Barker asks someone from Team Ogre, "When you have such a fearsome robot, are you ever afraid... your robot might turn against you?" This turns into an uncomfortable conversation about feeding the robot treats, where neither converser is anywhere close to the wavelength of the other. The commercial comes to mercifully end it.
When the show returns, Tim tells us that Carmen is "downstairs picking up some tips." And sure enough, there she is, dancing in a g-string, letting audience members stuff small bills into it.
Okay, that's not true. She's just there to introduce a quick segment where we hear some maxims from various teams. And then she throws it back to Bil and Tim. I guess you've got to fill 30 seconds somehow.
Speaking of filling time, here comes a builder profile. We're off to Texas to visit Scrap Daddy's Mark Bradford and his unusual car. It's shaped like a scorpion and shoots fire out of its tail. And there's Scrap Daddy's Surplus driving around on the wet cement. And the car again. And that's it.
Scrap Daddy's Surplus is a lightweight thwackbot. It's got a chain and a metal ball on the end. Its opponent is Wedge of Doom. Now Wedge of Doom has six wheels. Let's get to the fight.
When you have a fight between a thwackbot and a wedge, it's hard to recount. Just imagine me repeating these two statements over and over: "Scrap Daddy's Surplus swings its ball and glances off of Wedge of Doom." "Wedge of Doom tries to get under Scrap Daddy's Surplus, but you can't get under a thwackbot that easily."
To break things up, at one point, Scrap Daddy's Surplus's chain gets caught in Wedge of Doom's wedge. Kind of hard to tell which robot was controlling the other there. Back to those two main statements for the next minute and a half.
There are no new weapons in the BattleBox this time around, though the ramps and pistons are gone (hooray!). The spinners are back, though. And look, one of them actually disoriented Wedge of Doom! It's a miracle!
Scrap Daddy's Surplus gets its chain tangled in Wedge of Doom's wedge again. Wedge of Doom kicks into reverse to drag Scrap Daddy's Surplus under the sledgehammer. But Pete is too quick, and drops the hammer on Wedge of Doom instead. The bots spin around, get untangled, and Wedge of Doom winds up with half of its body on the floor and half of its body propped up on the spike strip. So what does Wedge of Doom do? Drive backward along the length of the spike strip with half its wheels up on it! One of the funniest things I've seen a robot do in a long time.
Wedge of Doom reaches the other end of the strip and works itself off. Back to the dance of not hitting each other.
Wedge of Doom's lifting arm is slightly up, and presumed to be inactive. Scrap Daddy's Surplus gets itself next to Wedge of Doom and manages to push it right under the sledgehammer. A nice, clean hit, and a hearty "Yeah!" from Mark Bradford.
Time's up. You know, before this fight began, I was sure Wedge of Doom would have no trouble winning. But it looks like I was wrong -- Scrap Daddy's Surplus got the better hits in.
The judges' decision is 24-21... close. And it goes to... Wedge of Doom? Huh? I thought for sure Scrap Daddy's Surplus would move on. How did that happen?
Okay, Tim tells us that "Bil will break down the judges' decision" after the commercial. Good.
Final Fantasy X gets to sponsor the "hard-hitting moment." I feel hit pretty hard with all these in-show advertisements, but they opted to show T-Minus flipping Ravager instead.
What? No. The "battle stats" are not an explanation of the judges' scores, Comedy Central! That's all they're going to give us. Why is it so hard to place the real scores on the screen?
As Carmen interviews Tony Buchignani, the camera pulls back to show the nut-shaped table sitting off to the side. Even though it looks really silly to show it with nothing on the table and no one sitting near the table. We paid good money to make the center light up, and by gum, we're going to show it on TV!
Now the first half hour is up... and Bil and Tim are saying good-bye. No more hour-long episodes?
Suddenly we're hit with a "BattleBots Update." Completely out of the blue. And it's about 45 seconds long, just enough time for it to be replaced by credits if need be. I see where we're going.
Instead of telling us the results of fights we didn't see, this one tells us the results of the four fights we just saw. Brad Wollack makes his only appearance in this half hour, when we see him ask the question "What went wrong?" Well, so far you can't complain about him.
A rather long Comedy Central promo is shown, and then the second half of the episode begins. And it looks just like they're starting anew. With the opening sequence and everything. The opening sequence's shots are in the same order, too. Watch -- they'll never turn these into individual half-hour episodes.
Ugh, this means that we have to sit through the Taco Bell and Final Fantasy X plugs again. Fortunately, there's no Chihuahua in sight.
Tim is told to recite some lines that are supposed to sound clever instead of confusing: "The meanest bots from around the globe have gathered here in San Francisco, the robot field of dreams. 'Cause if you build them, we will break them." That's close enough to ripping off Team Nightmare's slogan, I think.
Bil generalizes some of the things this episode's robots represent, like killer bees and man-eating sharks. He also mentions "super heavyweight Russians." Um, exactly which part of Vladiator implies that it's Russian?
Tim's trying too hard to pretend Bil's lines are funny.
Carmen's in the audience again, and she says some random stuff, speaking entirely in hype. Go ahead and stare at her chest -- she's not saying anything important.
Tonight's first (fifth?) fight will be between super heavyweights TriMangle and Vladiator. You know what Vladiator looks like. TriMangle is a box that has a triangular spinning blade diagonally mounted on it. It's one of the 50 or so robots that Team Loki has entered into the competition.
Mark Beiro's introduction for Vladiator just tells us that it comes from the same builder that created Vlad the Impaler. I guess no one gave the writers a list of the robots that would be competing. Or maybe it's a good idea to create additional questions in viewers' minds in such a heavily-edited show.
They dub in Bil's voice so it sounds like the drivers' comments to the cameramen are actually responses to his questions. Not only is it silly, they write Bil's questions so all the drivers are doing is turning his interrogative statements into declarative form. Perhaps this is good for junior high English students, but it isn't particularly convincing.
The fight begins. TriMangle heads straight for Vladiator at a moderate pace. Vladiator just kind of flinches. When TriMangle gets near Vladiator's square, Vladiator speeds away.
Vladiator tries to turn around and get under TriMangle's side, but instead bounces off and hits the wall. Vladiator's movements look exactly like those of an air hockey puck. It seems to be sliding sideways more than it's moving forward.
TriMangle heads for Vladiator while Vladiator's tires continue to skid. However, TriMangle's path takes it directly over the saw holes. TriMangle completely covers a set of saw holes, Vladiator deflects off TriMangle's spinning blade, and... sparks! Lots and lots of titanium sparks! TriMangle has a titanium underbelly! Yes!
Vladiator tries to get under TriMangle again, but can't. Vladiator moves around to the other side of TriMangle... more sparks! Those are the most sparks I've ever seen a robot produce. Maybe the strategy is to blind Gage by driving over the saws a lot.
Vladiator drives up onto TriMangle's rear end. Its body briefly stops TriMangle's blade, though TriMangle gets up to speed very quickly. Vladiator turns and gets its body back up to where the top of the blade is... and Vladiator's spike is broken off! It looks like the first hit ripped the spike loose and the second hit tore it clean off. I expected the audience to react more than they did. They're all still just sitting there.
Well, now that its spike is gone, Vladiator can focus on being what it has always acted as -- a rammer. Vladiator pushes on the side of TriMangle, driving the blade into the floor and stopping it (I think -- the camera's not at a good angle for this). TriMangle starts its blade up again, full speed.
Vladiator meets TriMangle head-on. The collision stops TriMangle's blade and does nothing to harm Vladiator. TriMangle starts to push Vladiator, and the saws pop up to fling Vladiator and separate the two.
TriMangle tries to get the blade re-spinning, but Vladiator rams it and stops it again. Is the blade slightly bent? Vladiator slides all over the floor.
TriMangle moves next to the saws, its back turned to Vladiator. Vladiator makes a run for TriMangle. The saws pop up and Vladiator drives right past TriMangle, getting flipped in the process.
TriMangle's blade is no longer working. Vladiator drives toward the front of TriMangle again, starts to ramp over the blade, but doesn't quite make it. Tim says that a pushing match would "favor the former champion." Former? Was Vladiator stripped of its title for illegal drug use?
Vladiator tries to hit TriMangle again, but that pesky TriMangle keeps moving. Fortunately for Vladiator, TriMangle isn't moving all that quickly, so Vladiator is able to climb up its back again. Bil points out that TriMangle is unable to turn. So it tries moving in reverse. The saws pop up and grind on it some more.
Vladiator pushes on TriMangle's side. One of TriMangle's tires gets pushed toward its body. TriMangle is having trouble turning, and Vladiator is still having trouble steering.
Vladiator charges at TriMangle again, goes up the blade, and is flipped once more. Vladiator's got a perfectly round hole indented in its belly. What's that from?
TriMangle now has a little bit of smoke coming out of it. Vladiator hits TriMangle again. Vladiator charges one more time at TriMangle's rear. Again, Vladiator climbs onto TriMangle. Only this time, all four of Vladiator's wheels leave the ground. None of its wheels are touching TriMangle, either, so Vladiator is stranded. TriMangle can't move with Vladiator on its back. Time runs out.
I'll bite into your Taco Bell replay if you bite this, Comedy Central.
Again, Tim is left to tell us the judges' decision, 37-8 in favor of Vladiator. Gotta speed things along so we can get more shots of Carmen Electra in.
Man alive, how many outfits have we seen Carmen Electra wear already? She interviews Gage, and wisely lets him do all the talking.
You know what, I think this might be the most useless filler segment they've ever done on this show. Brad Wollack goes to a random tarot card reader to ask how various veteran robots will do this time. Every time Brad says a robot's name, he places a picture of that robot in front of the reader. When he asks about Complete Control, there's a large pile of cards sitting there. Aren't you glad you didn't have to watch the whole thing?
Well, that segment surely reeked of comedy. Let's move on.
Heavyweight fight this time, Shark Byte versus KillerB. Shark Byte has a spinning blade surrounding its body and shark jaws perched up on top. KillerB is a big yellow wedge.
Green light. KillerB rushes Shark Byte. Shark Byte moves out of the way, and KillerB slams itself face first into the screw. Really hard.
KillerB bounces back and heads toward Shark Byte, whose weapon is spinning at full power. KillerB is able to get its wedge under Shark Byte without getting hit by the weapon though, and drives Shark Byte into the wall. The angle that Shark Byte hits the wall at rips off one of the Lexan strips separating the spikes from the wall. The Lexan shatters. There's a gash ripped in one of the vertical panels of Lexan that keeps the robots inside the box. Whoa.
KillerB shoves Shark Byte again, and another Lexan strip gets broken. Several of the audience members in the front row look rather tense right now.
KillerB drives Shark Byte over toward one of the hammers, giving it another mighty slam. The camera attached to the ceiling of the BattleBox shakes. Boy, who knew this sport would be so violent?
Shark Byte's blade finally connects with KillerB. It then slows down and stops. KillerB gets underneath, Shark Byte lands on top of KillerB, and KillerB winds up hurting itself with a slam into the wall. Shark Byte just bounces off.
Another rush, and KillerB aims Shark Byte underneath the sledgehammer. One hit. KillerB again under Shark Byte, drives it across the box, and slams Shark Byte into another wall. Shark Byte goes vertical, then lands back on its wheels.
KillerB gets itself under Shark Byte again and heads for a screw. Shark Byte is pushed on top of KillerB once more. KillerB drops Shark Byte off at another sledgehammer, which goes to work on the slanted Shark Byte. Shark Byte spins its blade again. The shark jaw gets caught in the blade and is flung off. The sledgehammer continues to whack away, not harming the spinner at all.
Shark Byte drives off of KillerB and moves away. KillerB is still sitting there. Shark Byte spins up and hits KillerB from behind. Then Shark Byte just pushes KillerB under the hammer, which repeatedly falls on it. KillerB taps out, and this one is surprisingly over.
Stuff happens. We have to see Carmen Electra two different times. There's a commercial. Whee.
This is weird. Apparently I experienced a blackout for a few minutes, as I don't remember any of this portion of the show when I first watched it. Perhaps my brain was afraid of having to listen to Carmen Electra read again and automatically put me into a coma.
(By the way, you may think I am being unfair to Ms. Electra. Perhaps I would not have to mention her so many times if Comedy Central did not place her on the screen every six minutes.)
Time to get some use out of the new interview area. They have a small monitor over there and a large cardboard nut surrounding it. For this interview with Gage Cauchois, they put the monitor to good use by showing the BattleBots logo. There were chairs in the interview area every time we saw Tim talk, but now they're making Bil and Gage stand. The interview is tightly edited. I feel breathless just watching it.
Next is a segment where some builders describe the upgrades they've made to their robots. You'll never guess which of the talent is standing in the pits to introduce the clips. Wait, did I say "never?" I meant "definitely."
The builders say their things, then Carmen says something confusing and unfunny about training a cat. I timed it -- Carmen gets more screen time in this segment than four builders combined.
Anyway, the cat joke lends itself to being a segue for the next fight. Ziggo will fight SnowFlake. But first! Here's a profile of Jayce Ross, driver of SnowFlake. It's your standard profile. SnowFlake fights Ice Cube. Everybody laughs a lot. It's kind of creepy how many shots of people laughing there are. We are keeping an eye on Team Toad during the off-season, right?
We're going to see SnowFlake fight Ziggo. But first! A plug for the Comedy Central web site. There sure are a lot of web site plugs. I wouldn't be surprised if this one managed to get flashed on the screen. At least it'd better, or I want my $200 back.
Now we're actually going to see the fight. Ziggo begins to speed up. SnowFlake takes a wide turn along the side of the box. Ziggo advances to the center of the floor while SnowFlake tries to drive toward it. Ziggo... is unbalanced! It starts to roll on its rim, nearly flips itself over, and quickly powers down to regain its footing.
They moved the Final Fantasy logo to another side of the box. Groan.
Ziggo spins up again, though not as fast as before. SnowFlake drives over and taps Ziggo. SnowFlake flips itself on a screw. Ziggo powers down again.
Ziggo rams SnowFlake with its barely-moving shell. The hit stops the spin. SnowFlake continues to drive around in various directions. Ziggo spins itself up again and drives itself over a saw. Ziggo produces yellow sparks when driving over saws.
SnowFlake drives into Ziggo, which is now spinning rather quickly. The hit twirls SnowFlake and brings the plowbot to a halt near the center of the box. Ziggo continues to spin, drives over, and whacks SnowFlake. SnowFlake stops over a saw, which tosses it. Ziggo hits SnowFlake again. SnowFlake ain't moving.
The ref starts to count SnowFlake down (he's counting rather fast... is there supposed to be a set time between numbers?). During the countdown, Ziggo hits SnowFlake again. SnowFlake lurches to life and the fight continues.
SnowFlake drives toward Ziggo and hits the spinning shell. SnowFlake gets knocked back and stops moving again. Ziggo wobbles, then powers down its shell. Jayce requests that Jonathan Ridder hit SnowFlake. Ziggo spins back up and hits SnowFlake twice. But nothing more happens to SnowFlake (short of the saws popping up to scratch the armor again). SnowFlake is counted out.
Commercials. Because you haven't seen enough ads yet.
For a change of pace, Brad Wollack interviews Jonathan Ridder after the fight. Jonathan states, "I almost pulled a Mauler there." Now see, that's the funniest thing that's been said all night. More builders, less drivel, please.
That's the episode(s) for tonight. The closing credits sequence manages to go an amazing four shots without showing Carmen Electra. She did get billing over Tim Green, though. Now that I think about it, she may have been on camera more often. Tune in next week, when we'll see the following:
Carmen Electra interviewing builders
Carmen Electra sitting in the audience
Carmen Electra reading things off of cue cards
Carmen Electra demonstrating how to stuff and baste a Thanksgiving turkey
Sixty seconds of nothing but a shot of Carmen Electra looking pouty
The technology used to display the Final Fantasy X logo on the BattleBox wall used to display a picture of Carmen Electra there instead
The Comedy Central globe logo bug in the lower right-hand corner of the screen replaced with a picture of Carmen Electra
Carmen Electra in the monitors behind Bil and Tim's desk
Carmen Electra replacing Mark Beiro
A feature on how Carmen Electra likes to exercise to prepare for her "BattleBots" role
A Carmen Electra robot with two large bludgeoning weapons
And one regulation fight between two heavyweights that ends in under one minute.